Life In The Yellow House

40 Days

2012-02-22T21:40:00.000-06:00

No starbucks.
No snack machine.

I'm not religious by any means but I always feel the need to give something up for lent. In this case I've been trying to cut calories and save money anyway so I thought I would give up my two weekday vices.

Chai tea lattes make my morning. I'm addicted, but feel like I need a break.

Peanut butter crackers call me at 3pm everyday. My waistline is not happy.

We will see how this goes. Day 1 - no problem! Let's talk again April 7th.

Happy Love Day!

2012-02-14T20:39:00.000-06:00

I have never been a big valentine's day person - working at a Hallmark store as a teenager ruined me - but it is nice to have a day filled with chocolate. YUM!

Needless to say we had no big plans nor was there a gift exchange. Yet, I did attend W's party at school. It was cute - my child is so spirited and loving I feel really lucky. The kids all exchanged cards, had some cupcakes, and ran around like crazy monkeys. It was a good time - crumbs and all.

Tomorrow back to the daily grind.

Strike Three

2012-02-12T20:53:00.000-06:00

I think I took for granted how easy I got pregnant when we were trying for the first time. We started trying and within three months we were pregnant. My first pregnancy was amazing - it was textbook. I loved being pregnant and I have an amazing kid that I adore.

I was ready to start trying for number two way before T was. Bottom line was we started trying in Sept and have had no luck. I traveled a lot in the fall, which made things difficult. So, we have really only had three attempts and no luck. I'm beginning to think it will never happen. I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with me. Things just haven't been the same since removing my IUD. I have contacted my midwife and now I just wait.

I know I should be patient, but it is not my strong suit. I will wait, and will hope for the best.

More to come - I hope.

Done

2012-02-02T17:32:00.000-06:00

Wow. Where has time gone. I finally finished my presentation on Tuesday night and gave it yesterday. Overall it went well. I only had a few minor glitches but I got a lot of compliments. I have to give a similar talk again in one month. Luckily I just need to revamp my current presentation. Then, I have to start my research project that is due in March - I'm so behind, but that is just the story of my life. It will all get done eventually or so I say!

Sadly, no other news to report. Happy Ground Hog day!

Disappointed

2012-01-28T16:17:00.000-06:00

W goes to a wonderful day care that is at my work. He has been in the toddler room for a year now and has made great friends with all the other kids. The next room up is the 2 year old room, and the last kid in W's class turned 2 yesterday! He has been with 3 of the kids since the baby room, so I was excited when the plan was for the whole class to move up together, but yesterday I found out they are only moving six of the 10 kids up. The other kids won't move up till summer, and W is one of the ones that is not moving up. I'm extremely disappointed and the more I think about it the more upset I get. The 2 year old room is more advanced and W staying in the toddler room is not only going to be left behind I feel he is at a disadvantaged of the kids who are a week older than him but are moving up. There just isn't an enough room in the two year old room, but I'm still ticked about. I've asked to talk to the director, but I don't know that will change anything. You want nothing but the best for your kid, and it is frustrating when you feel like you have no control over the situation. Currently I'm debating asking if there is room in one of the other center's at my work for W. I hate to change his environment but at the same time I don't want him 6 months behind the other kids. I guess I will just wait till Monday and I have full details of the situation. In the meantime I'll try not to fret too much! Wish me luck

Week Two - Complete Bust

2012-01-22T16:02:00.000-06:00

So, week two of my fast was a complete bust. I could blame being sick the week before or just being tired but I think it was just lack of my commitment. I hope to try to get back on track for weeks 3 & 4 - fingers crossed.

In other news our contractors are done! Our downstairs is all freshly painted, and now it it time to put the house back together and decorate.

I suppose that is all I have to report - I guess you can say it has been a rather blah week or I'm so tired I can't remember anything else. Oh well - it is back to work for me. I have a presentation and a research project that needs some serious attention.

What a week

2012-01-15T20:42:00.000-06:00

The fast went well until Wednesday and then everything fell apart. Thursday I had the worst stomach ache of my life. I didn't really want to eat on Thursday or Friday. Then Saturday I was exhausted and ate off the plan. Today I've been back on target for the most part, but hope to start week 2 with a bang tomorrow.
Even though I haven't been 100% true to the fast I'm definitely achieving my goals of becoming more conscious of what I'm eating, and overcoming my Starbucks & chocolate addictions!

W was sick Wednesday through Friday and stayed home with a sitter, but is back to 100% today! So, tomorrow he should be back on track as well.

Our contractors worked hard this week. They removed a false door in our dining room and painted our whole downstairs - at last the signs of the water damage from a year ago are gone! Our house is finally feeling like our home. They will be back next week to finish up and then we are off to decorating.

Sick Day

2012-01-11T21:26:00.000-06:00

Last night in the middle of the night W threw up for the first time ever. I feel lucky we made it this far without him throwing up. We were up 2x last night and then the diarrhea started this morning. No fun.
We had to call the Parents in a Pinch Service that my employer offers because I couldn't be off today. It worked out well minus the amount of money I have to shell out - 13 bucks an hour kind of hurts the bank. The sitter is coming back tomorrow, because W is still not doing well. I have now either been thrown up on or caught throw 3x in less than 24 hours - no one ever said being a mom is glamorous.
The worst part about the whole thing is as a mom I feel so helpless. Luckily W is acting fairly normal just not wanting to eat. Hoping for improvement in the AM. Still don't know what I'm going to do on Friday if he is not better, but I just can't afford a sick day at this point. I'm hopeful it will all work out, but mostly W is back to his normal self.

I want chocolate

2012-01-10T20:11:00.000-06:00

Today is Day 3 of the detox.

Sunday was easy.
Yesterday I had the worst headache ever.
Today I did well until 3pm and would really like to have some chocolate now.

Overall I do feel lighter and healthier. I guess the key is to just stay on this track forever, and not go back to caffeine or sugar or diary. I know that long term it will never happen, but I do hope by the end of the month I will feel better and my crazy food cravings will have improved.

Here's to kale juice! YUM.

"if your angry drink some vinegar and get over it"

2012-01-07T21:49:00.000-06:00

I've been talking to my sister and my Aunt. My Aunt said my papou used to say: ""if your angry drink some vinegar and get over it", and even though she has had the same blow out as I have had with my dad maybe she is right. I will talk to him if he talks to me. I will send him pictures of W every year, but I will move on. I will do my best to be a great mom, wife, aunt, niece, and sister to those who care fully and the rest - who knows.

In the meantime I am going to start Whole LIving's detox program tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I should go to bed to prepare.

It's Over

2012-01-04T21:11:00.000-06:00

I can't believe this is happening. In Oct 2010 my Dad got remarried to someone I had never met, and still haven't met. It has been a very difficult transition for me. I have tried to meet her twice, but she has always been too busy for me. Well let's just say things blew up and now my Dad and I have ended our communication with each other. I'm so sad. It is like losing my last parent and the worst thing is he is actually alive. He chose his new wife over me - his own daughter. I don't know what to do, but I guess I just move forward parentless. What a way to start the year.

2012

2012-01-01T20:41:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

Even though we were all asleep by midnight we had a good day. Zoo during the day. Homemade pizza & netflix movies at night. W woke up before 5AM this morning - not looking good for his NY's resolution, but what else is new. Hence, I still feel like I was out drinking all night even though I was in bed by 11pm - its kind of sad. Oh well. While the rest of the world is off tomorrow - I'm going back to work. We had Friday off for our holiday, which makes me so sad because I could really use another day off. Anyway.....

Looking back at 2011 there is not much to report. Yet, it was one of the most exhausting years that I can recall.

I truly think that 12 months to 2 years is more exhausting than the first year. W was always on the move, and sleeping poorly. Don't get me wrong it was a lot of fun. His personality has really come out, and let's just say I think he is so smart and funny ( I know what mom doesn't think that about her kid). He is also very curious and very determined. I love him!

I traveled 3x for work between August and November and started to redevelop our pelvic floor program. Things are still crazy at work, but are settling down. But, it was another reason to be exhausted.

Fun things that happened this year : we remodeled the library in our house, and we went to Mexico. In April we went to Isla Mujeres for a friend's wedding. It was truly fantastic and the island was kid friendly. We loved it so much we might even go back this Spring.

Sadly that is all that I have to report for 2011!

So, what will 2012 hold for me?

I hope to get a little of myself back. I feel like I have lost a little of myself being a working mom. I have been trying to give 110% to my family and to my work. I have recently reached my breaking point. I know some people can do it all, but I realize I can't.

I was at the height of my career in 2009 after receiving my manual therapy certification, and at that point I decided I wanted to be a mom rather than try to complete a fellowship in orthopaedics. I still think I'm a good PT, but will probably never be an expert in my field. And, I'm finally okay with that because at the end of the day I'm most thankful and proud to be a mom! I'm starting to see my work as just a job and not a career for a variety of reasons, but with the change in my perspective I hope to achieve more BALANCE in my life.

I hope with more work-life balance will become improved HEALTH. My health isn't poor, but with traveling this fall, and starting the redevelopment at work I really let my fitness go. I have been eating poorly and exercising less, which has made me feel sluggish, tired, and cranky. To help with this I pledge not to schedule any more patients during my lunch so I can work out. Plus, Tom and I have also joined a local gym so I can work out on the weekends. I hope to lose the few pounds that I have gained recently, and be able to run a decent 5K. Honestly, I probably won't sign up for any races this year, but want to feel like I could race if I wanted to.

But, what I really hope to do in 2012 is have more FUN. I think as a new mom I've been overly concerned about doing things right, but I'm slowly learning that there is no right answer I just need to do the best I can and learn from my mistakes.

Therefore my theme for 2012 is: WORK LESS. PLAY MORE.

Happy New Year!

New Year's Eve Eve

2011-12-31T18:17:00.001-06:00

No that is not a typo. Tom and I celebrated NYE last night. We went to the Germantown Cafe, while my co-worker babysat W. It was our first date since Tom's birthday back in July - needless to say it was a much needed date night. It was my first time at Germantown Cafe and I really enjoyed it.

The Cafe itself was great - it is a corner restaurant with large windows looking out to the city. Great table spacing, but cozy enough to be somewhat romantic. The staff was pleasant, friendly, and informative. The food was delicious. Per our babysitters recommendation we started with baked brie. The brie also came with fruit, and bread - yet, the brie was by far the highlight. Baked in a croissant it was a buttery gooey mouthful of yum! Then we had the house salad with the most amazing rolls ever - they were like beignets without all the sugar. We both had the green plate a.k.a the vegetarian option - there was also a off menu pasta option which we did not order. The mushroom and vegetables were nothing special, but tasty none the less. For desert we shared a scrumptious piece of apple pie. It was quite tasty but I must say it was the most sugary piece of pie I ever had. All and all it was a great night out with my husband. It really makes me think we should try to go out more in 2012.

Tonight we will have home made pizza and probably be in bed by 9PM. I have made W's 2012 resolution to sleep in. I have even ordered him a special clock to help with this endeavor - should be here by the 4th. Details to come.

Tomorrow 2011 reflection, and 2012 goals.

Feed A Cold?

2011-12-29T21:10:00.000-06:00

So, I have been fighting a cold since last week. I have seriously gone through multiple boxes of tissues. I even looked a little like Rudolph for Christmas! I feel tons better than I did last week, but I can't stop blowing my nose.

But, what I'm really wondering does feeding a cold really have any merit? I ask this because when I'm sick my eating habits go down the tube. I really crave junk food when I have a cold. It makes no sense to me at all, and probably doesn't help me get well. Does this happen to anyone else?

Tomorrow is our work holiday - I really think we must be the only place having Friday and not Monday off. I'm not complaining as I'm happy to have the day off but wish it was Monday like the rest of the world. On the positive side I get to start celebrating a day early. Tomorrow is date night with my hubby - our last date night was in July so we are long overdue. More to report tomorrow.

Disenchanted

2011-12-27T20:01:00.000-06:00

I have been a PT for a little over 11 years, and have always LOVED being a PT. I feel like I reached my peak as a professional right before W was born in 2009 when I received my manual therapy certification. Since then I feel somewhat unsatisfied with work.
I think part of it is that I really want to work less, but every time I request a schedule change it is denied. At this point in my career to get to the next level I really need to do a fellowship, but there are no programs here in Nashville and I can't afford to be gone from my work to do one out of state.
Yet, this past fall I was presented with an opportunity that I thought was going to be career changing, but has turned out to be a headache! I was offered a chance to take over our women's health program, and went through all the training. I have been treating patients since Sept and have high hopes form really developing a great program, but that just got squashed by my boss today. The bottom line we will keep sending you to training so we have the program but the clinic doesn't really need the pts nor do we want it to be anything. Why am I wasting my time? Now what do I do? Is it time to sell out and go to home health?

Pros of home health: maybe less hours, more money, more flexible, less stress
Cons of home health: spent a lot of time money in training to do Orthopaedics, love what I do most days, no real co-workers, could go into homes that are unsafe

The bottom line is I love what I do, and I'm sure things will pan out over time and I'll get over being disenchanted eventually.

Sleeping In

2011-12-26T19:06:00.000-06:00

5:19 AM.

W: "All done sleeping mama. Get up!"

I roll over in bed and peer at the alarm clock. In my head I say "YES!!!!". That's right I'm celebrating waking up after 5 AM.

My little man turned 2 earlier this month and I can count on one hand how many times he has slept until 6 AM or later - its three just in case you were wondering. W has always been an earlier riser - he typically wakes up between 4-5AM. There for a while it was 5:30 and it was like heaven. His doctor says as long as he is happy there is no need to worry. But, what about me?

All I have to say is Starbucks is a lot richer these last two years thanks to W!

Do you have an early riser? What do you do?

I have succumb to laying on the couch with W and letting him watch TV. I try not to let him watch TV until after 5 AM, but that just means I have W sitting on my head trying to get me to play with him So sometimes he watches TV and I get 30 minutes more of sleep. Does this make me a bad mother?

Even if the answer is yes I don't care - at this point it is about survival. What can I say but I NEED sleep.

Fingers crossed for another 5pm or later day.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T20:03:00.000-06:00

Back in 2006 I started a blog called Running To Change. The blog chronicled my training for my 3rd marathon, which I completed with a PR. Yet, the best part of that day was that I got engaged at the finish line. Since the marathon my running has taken a backseat to life. I have gotten married, moved to the South, adopted a second hound dog, bought a house, and had a baby.

Needless to say the last 5 years have been more exhausting than training for a marathon, but also more exciting than finishing a marathon. I hope to blog about mine and my family's adventures to keep track of life's ordinary and extraordinary moments. If you happen to stumble across my blog and read it please leave a comment. In return I hope that my posts might occasionally make you laugh, cry, smile, or even inspire you but don't forget I am blogging while sleep deprived so no promises!